Welcome to this site which is a combination text/photo journal of my volunteer experiences last year. It includes more than Chi Rescue though CR did receive the bulk of my volunteer hours.

Be aware that the ex-volunteers are currently breaking the law (DMCA) because they stole photos off this website and have not only reposted them on their own website but have redistributed them without permission (let alone proper credit). What's really criminal in my opinion is that they've taken my photos and tried to recast them in a sinister light by showing them alongside horrible and malicious unfounded claims.

If you take a good look at the photos as you see them here along with the rest of the photos in the series, you'll see that they're not sinister at all. Most of the stolen shots are taken in the hospital wards where the dogs are kept in cages to keep them safe from other dogs and allow them time to recuperate. Other dogs are usually new arrivals that are being isolated until their temperament and health is determined. They are later moved to join the rest of the dogs elsewhere.

I think the photo that raises my ire the most is the one of Yoda. They took my "Before" pictures and tried to insinuate that this is condition that Kimi keeps her dogs in. But if you look further on in my photo journal, you'll find pictures of Yoda looking much better at the Nov Best Friends Adoption Fair. And early this year, Yoda found his new home and can now be found on Dogster looking like the star he is!

You *will* find pictures of dogs in sorry states but that is how they CAME to Chihuahua Rescue. The pictures were taken as benchmark for "Before" or are "healing in progress" shots.

The entire place is cleaned daily and if you browse through the photos on my site, you'll rarely see any poop anywhere. Poop is a natural function and is to be expected but if the accusations were true... you'd see poop *everywhere* plus it'd be moldy and stacked several layers deep.

For the record, of the remaining pictures on the website belonging to the ex volunteers who clearly have axes to grind. What do they show?

* More shots of the hospital ward (note stacks of clean newspaper, bags of food, cleaning equipment -> all contradicts their claims, I know it's hard to see them in cages but it's no different than you'd find at a vet's office, animals are kept in cages to facilitate the healing process.)

* a messy front office (oh noes!! doesn't Kimi know that it's MUCH more important to keep her front office neat and orderly than to take care of the living creatures in her care?)

* incoming dogs in their arrival crates (one who has clearly soaked the newspaper in its crate by knocking over the water bowl... why didn't the ex "volunteer" who took the picture take care of it instead of standing around taking pictures of nothing?)

* dogs still in the recovery process (the thin white dog looked SO much worse the first time I ever saw it, hardly any fur at all, I was pleased to see in that picture that it's coming along nicely in its recovery)

There's ONE photo that actually shows poop in the cage. However consider that these people were once trusted volunteers and were allowed into the dog areas to do things like CLEAN the cages. It'd be extremely easy for them to just go in in the early morning and take the photos before the staff & volunteers have come around to clean it. Consider how much a single dog can poop. Again if their claims were true... there'd be a great deal more poop in the cage. So what you see in this photo is simply a cage that hasn't been cleaned yet.

Anyways... I know some of these ex volunteers personally and the majority of them did some pretty whacked out things. They do all have one thing in common. They wanted the rescue run THEIR way and left or were asked to leave because they didn't get their way and in some cases started sabotaging the rescue.

I never understood their attitudes. Yes we can all see some ways to improve things. However, every suggestion that I've made to Kimi that she declined to utilize, I usually later saw for myself that she was correct to do so. They turned out to be impractical or the wrong thing to do. It's taught me that Kimi's 20 years of rescue experience is nothing to sneeze at or overlook but clearly these people think they can do better than her.

If they're so hell bent on saving & rescuing dogs... let them start their own rescue group and save the chihuahuas in real danger that are being killed daily in shelters of the greater Los Angeles area.

I've volunteered at other places in the past and based on my overall experiences, I find the dogs at Chihuahua Rescue to be quite lucky. Kimi takes good care of them and she'll always have my support.

Several residents enjoying the afternoon sun

FYI, I noticed the other day on their website that they tout Marty & Wally as an example of her hoarding dogs. I was increduluous that they had the gall to do that because it's not for a lack of trying that M & W didn't have homes yet. They needed to go together because they were attached to each other. Every prospective adopter I ever showed them to, was turned off by their puppy rambunctiousness especially since they'd outgrown the cute puppy stage. Given the huge choice that adopters had, it's not that hard to see why time and time again M & W were ignored in favor of other dogs. But at least they were safe, cared for, not in danger of euthanasia. They live with other dogs in one of many dog areas and played together all day long.

Yea it'd be nice if they got a home but I've faith and confidence that Kimi will pull another miracle out of her hat and find the PERFECT home for them... she's done it many times before. I've written about some (browse the archives) and someday I hope to find the time to write about the rest of the ones I saw.

I'd gotten lunch from Wendy's but hadn't eaten it yet. I took it into the bathroom where the two crates were. Wela was in one and the puppies bundled into the other. I took the top off Wela's crate so she couldn't hide from me. I sat on the floor between the crates and ate my lunch without looking at Wela. Just projected an air of nonchalance and "everything's fine". I knew the food smells would interest Wela so every so often I'd offer her a fry. Then when I got to the chicken fingers, that was what she was interested in so I gave her a bite here and there.

Part of the problem was that Wela and all her fellow dumpees were extremely frightened and not very well socialized to new people. Many of them were ready to bite you if you got too close, Wela included. For a long time afterwards, Wela was known as "Vicious Mama" which shows why I was so cautious that day.

By the time I finished my lunch, I'd worked my way up to petting her a little around her head and she was accepting of that. So then I took a puppy and held it out to her. She sniffed it and looked like she wanted it. So I placed it next to her where it could find a nipple. It started going for the gold right away and Wela was fine with it.

One at a time, after each puppy was settled in, I gave her a new one to sniff. After the first couple, I started needing to shift Wela around so there'd be a space for the new puppy to nurse. She was very accomodating and assisted me by helping to shift herself so the new puppy could nurse.

Later in the day, everyone's happy

Writing about it now... it seems so simple now but that day, it was just amazing to get Wela to take her puppies. She proved to be a very good mother. Kimi and I were the only ones that could enter the bathroom without her shifting into "Vicious Mama" mode.

Sad to say... 2 of the puppies just didn't make it. I was surprised to learn that it's actually not uncommon for a couple of puppies to die. Especially given the interbreeding of Wela's clan.

The big white girl was named Aphrodite and was the last to die. For some reason, she just never grew and then started to wither away. Nothing we did for her worked. Vet couldn't figure it out either. The tan puppy also didn't make it but she died in the 2nd-3rd day. There was some oddness around her belly so possibly doomed because of bad breeding?

Frankenbaby had died almost 3 months before. Given my feelings that the forces of the universe had decided to take Frankenbaby back and let her be reborn into a better chance at life, I couldn't help but feel that the dark colored baby that didn't match her siblings or Wela's clan was Frankenbaby reborn... so with Kimi's blessing, I named her Phoenix.

Phoenix and her brother are 9 months old now. Kimi's adopted the brother but Phoenix is still there. I've always wanted to adopted Phoenix and her mother Wela but still yet lack the home situation to do so. Perhaps someday soon... of course there's always a chance that someone else may adopt her in the meantime and that's definitely double edged for me. Would be happy for her to have a home where she can be doted on sooner but sad because it's not my home. Phoenix, from day 1 and on.

Phoenix & her brother at 3 months and 10 days

Wela's still not real socialable but remembers me and always comes to me to be picked up and cuddled. There were a couple times where I was gone for a good while so she needed a few minutes to remember me but she always did. It's doubtful that anyone else would want her since she still only likes me and K as far as I know. K loves her too but would be happy to see Wela come home with me.

Wela curled with me when I stayed over in early November

Someone who adopted a dog from CR 5 years ago wrote in to complain that her roommate who "wanted a chihuahua to rescue" was upset because Kimi was taking too long to finish the adoption for the dog she'd picked out, Autumn.

Esqueeze me? When you *adopt* a dog from CR, you're not *rescuing* it, you're simply adopting it. It's already been rescued... saved... what have you... by Chihuahua Rescue who accepted the commitment and obligation to take care of the dog for the rest of its life. The only thing the prospective adopter is doing is offering it a home where it'll get more personal attention than at the rescue cum sanctuary.

Anyways... right after I responded... another volunteer chimed in to report that the impatient prospective adopter had already gone with another rescue.

Well that right there... in my opinion... tells me that that's not the person I'd want to adopt a dog out to anyways if it were my choice. If they're too impatient to wait for a dog that they chose to adopt (which would indicate that they feel a BOND with that dog) then these people are more likely to be turning around and dumping the dog back into the shelter system within a year or two.

I'm also rather irate with the person who did the emailing because why is she wasting our time bitching about this when it's already a done deal? I got even madder when she responded to the thread and proceeded to belittle CR's achievements and efforts through thinly veiled "compliments".

I know I have a real thin skin when it comes to these kind of people but that probably because my ire is already on alert because of the other people who take it much further and waste tax payer dollars and Kimi's time and their own... trying to get CR shut down.

My god people get a clue... if Lt Spears could find any merit to these complaints... He would have shut Kimi down long ago. All that happens is that he is forced to go out there as much as once a week to "investigate the complaints". I just want to stick a nail studded clue bat up all these people's arses, it makes me so mad...

While I can never seem to find the time to write out the stories here. I find myself repeating them over and over in various forms via commenting in dog related LJ communities. Recently I wrote about a pair of owner turn in experiences and decided to flesh it out and then repost it here.

In my experience at Chihuahua Rescue, owner turn-ins which make up most of the incoming dogs I've seen usually involve the owner bringing the dog to the premises. However, last year early on in my time at CR, K asked me to do a couple of pickups within a couple days of each other and what was particularly striking for me was how opposite the situations turned out to be.

When I arrived at the place, it was a neighborhood of condos & townhouses & apartment buildings in a kind of a urban ghetto sprawl. Felt familiar to me because I spent a lot of time in my HS years hanging out in a similiar neighborhood. Even still I was a bit surprised at the number of people that came pouring out with this guy and Ren-Ren. He and his mother? were staying with friends and apparently it was one of those situations where they were friendly with the neighbors too... so everyone came out to say goodbye and see Ren-Ren off.

At first the guy managed to retain his stoicness and I talked to him and the woman about Ren-Ren. I forget now what I knew before I got there. Upon reflection, I think I didn't really know the situation so it was then that I learned exactly what was happening. Yep that feels right. I pulled up thinking that I was dealing with some asshole who decided they were tired of their fad dog. It's kind of a knee jerk reaction among most rescuers & volunteers when they get hear about owner turn-ins. But when I learned that they were already to the point that they were couch-surfing and about to be homeless altogether, I gained a lot of respect for them because they were trying to do right by Ren-Ren.

Ren-Ren didn't like me. They explained that she didn't really like anybody but her family and even then she sometimes tried to bite them all except for the guy who she apparently regarded as her alpha. So when it came time to go, he had to put her in my car himself and it was right before this that he finally started to cry. And when he went... everyone else did too... I looked around me and all the friends & neighbors that were standing around had either moist eyes or were flat out crying. I had to turn away then myself because *I* started to cry too.

It was weird... Ren-Ren clearly cared for this guy and his family.... yet rode away with me as if she was embarking on a grand adventure. I had the distinct feeling that she wasn't looking back. After the guy had put her in my car and the waterworks ensued, I decided to skeddadle out of there because I figured why prolong their pain?

Ren-Ren, settled in for the ride.

A couple days later, I'm off again to pick up another owner turn-in. The neighborhood was very middle class, slanted upwards. It was an older neighborhood but the homes were very well kept and landscaped. I actually passed the house a couple of times trying to find it and I was actually getting a little irate because why would these people need to turn in a dog? If they can afford to live here, it can't be financial reasons. I actually tried to get my camera out to take a picture but they'd been watching for me and figured out who I was. So when I'd finally figured it out and was turning around to pull up and park, I'd gotten the camera turned on to take a picture as I was pulling up but they'd come out of the house.

It's the greenish house at the end of the street.

So I set the camera down and get out. The woman has already come out of the house with Harley in her arms and a shopping bag full of his gear. Before I can even walk up the walk to her, I'm astounded by the sheer force of his growl. This tiny little dog who is over 10 ft away is projecting his warnings so fiercely that I feel like I'm in a movie theater with excellent surround sound to make you feel each explosion. Since I'm nearly completely deaf, that's saying even more. Harley HATES me and wants me to go away.

However, he has no choice, I'm coming to pick him up and that's that. I walk up and start talking to the gal. She's your typical suburban soccer mom type. I find out she has 6 kids which seems to account for the distracted tiredness I see in her. She explains to me that while Harley's never bitten the kids, he'd recently started to bite their friends and since they basically had a revolving door thing going on with the friends of all 6 kids trekking in and out, they just couldn't take the risk.

He's only just over a year old. He was born on Valentine's Day the previous year and was a bonafide "poochi". They'd apparently shelled out big bucks for the newfangled designer breed that's nothing more than a mutt with a chihuhua and a poodle for parents. He was even dressed in a little blue shirt with the American flag on it and his blanket was this really nice furry deal that was a copy of the flag as well.

Anyways, the woman just handed him over to me which shocked the hell out of him and handed over the bag of his things. She didn't really seem to interested in saying good bye to him. Once she handed him over, she turned and prepared to walk back inside. Taking my cue, I turned and walked down the sidewalk to my car. Poor Harley, he didn't make a single protest because I could tell he was still trying to work out what the heck just happened.

Mind you there had been an audience to this. Apparently at least 3 of the kids were home at the time since they'd wandered out at some point and were standing a few feet away back up close to the house. I would have thought they were some neighborhood kids wandering by to see what was going on. It was like rubber neckers at a car wreck... they were clearly unemotionally involved with what was going on. Not a single tear to be seen. Just idle curiousity. In fact, one kid got bored and went back inside before I even turned to go.

Harley, on the other hand, finally came to as I started to drive away. He frantically looked out the car window back towards the house hoping to see his humans come running after me to save him. He knew something was very wrong and it didn't take long for him to start keening with grief about being taken away. Keening's not a word I use lightly. It's a good description of what Harley was doing... long drawn out high pitched wails of despair. In between the wails, he would sometimes interject looks in my direction that told me quite clearly that he thought he was being dognapped.

I had to make one stop before I got back to the Rescue which was over an half hour away. I wasn't long at it but when I got back in the car, Harley had apparently decided that perhaps it wasn't my fault. That or he was just too desperate for comfort, because he climbed right into my lap. I don't like to drive with a dog on my lap cause it's just flat out dangerous but Harley was small enough that he didn't interfere with the wheel at all and so I relented and let him stay and petted him when I could. After a while, he did climb back over into the passenger seat to as far as I could tell return to his previous pattern of shooting me death glares and grieve.

Since then, it became blatantly clear to me that the kids had allowed their friends to torment Harley to the point where he hated any non family member and probably didn't understand why his own family was being mean to him. Even now he really really hates the sight of kids and will try to chase them away. My kid bro tells me that Harley tries to bite him everytime he goes into the playground where Harley lives now.

For a long time after he arrived, Harley didn't like anyone but me and Dave. At first though, Harley actually ended up giving me the worst bite I've gotten so far. It was the next day and everyone was afraid to take him out of the crate he was in. He was just one very pissed off dog. When I tried to take him out and clip a leash onto him, somehow I fumbled and he managed to bite me, but once he felt himself secured to the line, he quit. Thank goodness. After that when I saw him, he seemed to have forgotten his previous hatred of me and now was eager when he saw me because I was a familiar face. Since Dave took care of the dogs in his area, it's no surprise that Harley came to focus on Dave.

Harley, in Dave's arms.

It's clear now that he's really a 1 person dog. He needs to go to someone who does not have kids and does not regularly encounter kids. Harley can and will bond to a new onwer and will be a devoted companion if given the chance. But because he was turned in for biting and has bitten people at the rescue, it becomes much harder to find a home for him. It'll take someone who will have the patience to allow Harley the time to adjust and bond as well as the resolve to keep Harley away from kids.

I have had the opportunity to see a dog go home to his original owner. Tiny's story was that he'd been found abandoned I think way before weaning age. His mom went far and above the call to nurse him along to the point that she slept with him on the floor so he'd have a "mother" to curl up with. At some point in time, like Ren-Ren's father, she too became homeless for a time and had to give him up.

I'd first met her when she'd come by the rescue and would see her with this dog that was clearly in love with her. But I hadn't known any of the story til I went along on his "home check". She was just this woman that came by and would sit with a dog that was very attached to her. I wasn't even sure if it was one of our dogs or what. There are over 200 dogs there so I only know some of them.

Turns out that she was renting a room in a house but when she moved in, had been told no pets. So she'd settled for just coming by during our once a week open house to visit with her best friend. What brought on the happy ending as she told us was one day after a visit, she came home and just busted out into tears. The owner of the house that she lived in asked what was wrong. The woman explained that she badly missed her dog and it was hard to only get to see him once a week. The owner asked, "well how big is it?" Turns out the owner had said no dogs because she didn't want some big lug of a dog galloping around. When she learned that Tiny was not even 10 lbs, Tiny's mom was ordered to go GO GET YOUR DOG!

I count myself lucky to have been invited along on that "home check". When Tiny walked into the front door of the house, he bee-lined through the house to his mom's room. He knew he was home.

Had Harley's family wanted to keep touch, I would have told them drop dead. If Ren-Ren's family had ever come, either to visit or ask for Ren-Ren back because they'd gotten back on their feet, I would have been all for it. Sadly Ren-Ren passed away several months later. She actually didn't ever stay at CR, she went straight to foster at a volunteer's house where she seemed quite happy. I remember seeing her not long before her death and she was very fond of her foster mom. So at least she was happy.

One of the dogs, Rosita, died from complications of having her face beat in. I'm told what happened to her face is very similar to what happened to Fifi's.

Fifi is one of Chihuahua Rescue's permenant residents. CR's also a sanctuary for those who would otherwise be put to sleep.

Everyone wants to adopt Fifi because she just looks so darling in the picture with her bent muzzle but she's definitely one of the harder cases at Chihuahua Rescue. It took her a long time to get used to me and that was just with me walking around and through the area. One day I took a chance and walked up to her cause I saw her head poking out of her self made cave. I called her name in a friendly voice and just about fell over when she crawled out of her blanket den and came eagerly to the edge of the bed to be petted. Tail wagging and all. I was able to pet her on the head and upper back and bit and even hold her though I was very very cautious.

Normally, Fifi growls and menances anyone who dares to come too close. It's easy to avoid her because all she wants to do day in and day out is to sleep nestled in a self made den of the blankets left out in the playground for that dogs to cuddle in. It's rare to see her walking around or even to see her at all. Most people don't even know she's there.

So even with this "breakthrough" between me and Fifi, it's still very touch and go... sometimes she violently crabs at you for disturbing her, sometimes she comes up for some petting & treats, but then it's another game of chance as to whether she'll stay calm for it or erupt into a frenzy of tail chasing. It's like she feels a phantom tormenter at her back and when she gets petted, she gets confused and thinks that it's the tormenter back to hurt her. I'll draw back and stop and soon she'll stop and go back to wagging her tail and being all "pet me pet me". I must note that when Fifi erupts into a biting frenzy... it's not me that she's trying to bite but her own tail? That's what makes me think that she feels this "phantom" behind her because it looks like she's trying to bite something that's touching her from behind.

Now I've heard of dogs similiar to her that were prone to similiar outbursts and they've gone to understanding homes and have done quite well there. I do wonder how Fifi would do in a home environment. But generally the applicants who want Fifi are looking for a family pet type dog of which Fifi is not suited for. Fifi needs to go to someone who's willing to adapt to her special needs and forgive her her craziness. Certainly they must be prepared that they may just be getting a dog who'll spend her days hidden away somewhere, coming out only for food and bathroom trips.

Fifi peering out... is it safe?

What's going on?? (It's a Saturday and she's looking in the direction of the fence which is a few feet away. On the other side is the area where the public is admitted to during "Visiting" hours. Normally it's quiet but there's a commotion going on of people voices and dogs barking.

A rare moment where Fifi's out and about... she's interested in what's going on but isn't about to brave the crowd for a piece of my brother's burger. If you can't spot her, she's standing on the right partially under the plastic lawn chair.

Fifi on another day, out and about. Just remembered her corkscrew tail. There's another shot that shows it even better.

Anyways... dogs like Fifi are what make me really glad that a place like Chihuahua Rescue exists. They own and run their own kennel so that they can provide a sanctuary for the "unadoptables". I've heard all the negative rants about rescues which often seem to stem from either A) They only take in the adoptables and/or B) They loot the shelters for the best picks. I can certainly understand why rescues do either because it takes a lot of time, money and effort just to do rehoming for dogs. So when a rescue takes in the abused and torn apart dogs and only goes to the shelter to get dogs in their 11.5th hour... they rank very high in my book. Especially when I know that they've got astounding success at PLACING these unadoptables. These poor dogs do get a second chance at love and at least a peaceful safe life til their new home comes along.

Just makes me insane with anger .... I want to show them all the pictures of dead animals in the garbage cans at animal shelters... puppies & kittens included who could have gotten that same home instead.

If I want puppies... I'll get one from the shelter, there are plenty of pregnant females who arrive in shelters all the time. It's a bullshit excuse to breed your favorite pet to get "another Rover" because children are NOT clones of their parents. Why bring more animals into the world when there ARE PLENTY of ones in need getting killed everyday because some of the homes they could have had were taken by puppies/kittens produced by these assholes who refuse to look at the bigger picture.

Animal Planet even promotes this irresponsibility by producing segments for That's My Baby that show a family letting their pet breed just to show their kids the miracle of birth. Now I do approve of when That's My Baby shows segments about respectable breeders and their litters or zoos or etc. But I think it's irresponsible when they promote the casual home breeding.

Reference Links I'd like to shove down these people throats: Brutal stuff - don't read without a tissue box handy or a bucket to throw up in.
My Name is Sam - heartbreaking account of one dog's euthanasia.
Fate of a Dog - in an alabama shelter, a picture slideshow with accompanying text narration.
Description of a Doggie Gas Chamber - also has 2 pictures of containers full of killed pets
Horrible story about what one county "shelter" does - specifically want people to see this video link of a gas chamber being loaded and used... with healthy looking dogs AND PUPPIES
"Lovely" article about what happens to excess animals - hits a lot of hard points but doesn't address the core issue that we have to get the pet population under control so there's no need to dispose of thousands upon thousands of animal carcasses.
Job Description for Mesquite, NV Animal Control Officer - take a look at Job Duty #16
More horror stories about a animal pound in Montana

Unable to find a link for my "favorite" picture ... a shot of landfill where bags of dead animals had busted open spilling out their contents.... most prominent in the picture is a dead German Shepherd mostly out of one bag.

It just goes on and on....

So yea that's why I get so angry when I read/hear people talk about why they won't spay/neuter Fido for any of the many bullshit reasons often given.

T'was The Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas and the shelter was dark,
The whole place was silent, not even a bark.
The dogs were all locked in their pens for the night,
The staff had gone home and turned out the light.

As I lay my head down on the cold concrete floor,
I fondly recalled the home I had before.
The family I loved who loved me right back,
We'd shared everything from a secret to snack.

Things couldn't be better at this time last year,
But that has all changed and now I am here.
I won't see the tree, the lights or the snow,
I'm scared and alone, my spirits are low.

The others like me weren't put up for adoption,
A new family and home, for us isn't an option.
We've been locked up in cells as if we're all crooks,
We don't deserve homes because of our looks.

Not Diesel, or Bingo or the young one named Percy,
Deserve to be loved nor shown any mercy.
While families celebrate with holiday cheer,
I know in my heart that my end is near.

The vet will arrive, the lights will go on,
By the time you awake, we all will be gone.
A stranger will come and take me away,
I'll never awake to see another day.

As I at last close my eyes I'll shed you a tear,
The fond memories, with you, I'll always keep near.
The only thing I've ever asked of dear Santa Claus,
Is to stop all these unfair and ridiculous laws.

You said without me, your life was not full,
So why does it matter that I'm a "pitbull"?.
In my dream Santa shouts when he's finished his deed,
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL REGARDLESS OF BREED!

-- Author Unknown

I had to drive to Burbank to vote since I was registered at my Dad's place. I'm sure I could have voted in Ventura somehow but there were enough reasons to go ahead and make the drive that I just did it anyways.

Since I needed to give Kimi something, I stopped by Chi Rescue and a 10 minute stop ended up being several hours. She was hungry so we went to eat which was nice because it gave me a chance to catch up on going ons and it was amazing all that she had to tell me from just the past 2-3 days!!

Long story short, she was an interesting case and it quickly became that only Kimi and I could get through to her. When I got back from PA, I poked my head into see her and she didn't seem to remember me which made me sad. But the next day, I couldn't help but poke my head in to see her again and call out "Hey Wela" in the special intonation I always used and this time instead of barking furiously at me, she wagged and wagged her tail. In hindsight, I realized that the previous day was Saturday which meant that she could hear people coming and going like crazy plus the teeth cleaning was happening right outside her door. So she was pretty stressed out. I was able to visit with her and give her hugs then that Sunday.

But Friday when I went to the Rescue after having been gone again for 3-4 weeks, she was out in the main area and wouldn't come more than 3 feet of me. She barked and barked but I tried using my "Wela" call and her tail started wagging but she kept barking and wouldn't come close enough for me to touch her or take her up (I always used to pull her into my embrace and hold her close which she really liked). Mind you that there's a number of other dogs there who don't know me and are going berserk. However, I was finally able to get her to come close enough for me to bring her in and she settled right into my arms and I hugged and hugged her and it was like I'd never left.

Today I was relieved because while she didn't come straight to me, she did come right up to that 3 ft mark (just out of arm's reach) barking, and then after about 5 seconds came the rest of the way so I could pick her up. Spent a lot of time again hugging her.

It's hard because I want to pick up and hug them all but time & opportunity are not always plentiful. Plus it's been long enough that the dogs I knew have either been moved around or adopted out. It's a bit like a treasure hunt to go find out where X is now.

She needed to go next door into the rescue (Wela's in the doggie daycare/vet hospital area at the moment) so I was happy because it was a chance to see some more of my dog friends. I knew more of the dogs in the playground there and was pleased to see that both Noz and Oatmeal made a beeline for me. I picked up Noz first because I have more history with him and hugged and hugged him some more.

It's interesting now that I think about it... Noz, Oatmeal and Wela all have short body hugging fur that they almost sometimes feel like they're nearly bald. They all feel like velvet to pick up and hold and I always end up snuggling them really close to me. They definitely enjoy it because they reciprocate the snuggling and often tuck their heads into my neck.

Noz was doing that tonight several times, as if to say I'm so glad to see you... stay here a while and just cuddle me? He's come such a long way from the absolutely terrified boy he was when he arrived. But then perhaps not quite so far as when Kimi was done with her task and came over to where I was standing with Noz, she commented that he runs away from everyone else. I know that Ryan's said that Noz growls at him and doesn't like it when Ryan comes near him. That part I understand because Noz came from a family with 10 and 12 year old boys and had been turned in for "biting". Noz was SOOO scared that it was hard not to theorize that he'd been abused by the boys to the point where he'd started snapping/biting in self defense.

When Noz arrived, he would huddle in the back of his isolation cage when anyone walked near him or looked at him. For these dogs, I just be patient and steady. I talk to them in a friendly voice and I stand in front of their cages and talk to them. After a bit, when I see them starting to see the possibility that I really might be friendly, I'll open the cage door but not reach in. I stand in front of it so that they can't bolt, but I also try my best to project friendliness and I hold my hand at the opening palm upwards and continue talking to them in friendly soothing tones.

I can't remember how long it took Noz to gather the courage to come sniff my hand but I don't think it was really that long. I try and break it up some by doing the above for several minutes at a time and then closing the door and walking away. I guess I'm trying to show them that I don't want anything from them by not demanding that they come to me when I open the door or even just look at or talk to them. I don't want to stress them out either so in doses of several minutes at a time, it's enough to get them thinking but not so stressed out that they freak out.

He was very anxious to know a kind hand and it wasn't long before I had him coming up to the open door and then willing to come into my arms. I knew he was a biter but everything in his behavior just screamed out that he just wanted to be loved and not tormented and so I did my best to do just that. Every chance I got, I would open his door and pet him for a few minutes or even take him out and hold him close and hug him.

It's not really the smart thing to do that because what I'm doing is holding them so they're "sitting upright" with one hand supporting their butt and the other hand/arm around their body and their face right next to mine. But it allows for a particularly good close hug and cuddle since they're enfolded in my arms.

I was pretty sure that Noz wasn't a psycho biter where they just snap/bite sometimes without thinking or consciously intending to hurt you. I felt certain that he would respond to the close touch and he sure did. The only person he likes better than me that I know of is Kimi.

One time when I was staying the night, I took Noz out so I could cuddle with him on the couch for a while but when I let go of him, he jumped down and went over to the facing couch and jumped up and sat in the nook between Kimi's legs and couch and just looked at me like he was saying "Thank you kindly, but I'd prefer to be right here" *grin*

Noz is so beautiful... he's a mix but he's just plain gorgeous. To me he looks very regal especially with his gold colored eyes and tawny gold coat. He also has real presence when he's not huddled into a scared little ball.

I'll have to ask Kimi again what he's a mix of. Jack Russell Terrier is about the only thing I can see for sure.

Anyways, I spent most of my time cuddling Noz, but I did put him down long enough to give some cuddles to Oatmeal who was the other one that made a beeline for me. The rest of the dogs were milling around and barking because they didn't know or had not yet remembered me but these two knew me.

Oatmeal's an old soul. He hangs back a lot cause he doesn't want to get in the thick of the other dogs or compete for attention.

I don't know what his backstory is but I ending up connecting with him simply because I'd look around and make eye contact with the dogs. I'd find him looking at me wistfully as I was greeting and petting and playing with the other dogs so one day I went over and introduced myself and went ahead and picked him up because it seemed like he wanted attention but not with all the other dogs bouncing off him. Picking up would raise him out of the mosh pit at my feet and give us a chance to meet properly.

He's the kind of dog that when you meet him as someone's pet, you envy them and say how SWEET they are. But why is it that they end up in the rescues and shelters in the first place? This fact was driven home again to me tonight when Debbie was raving about what a sweet dog Lucy is. I'd brought my mom's dog along with Captain and Bastian with me and I was at my Dad's house visiting and picking up some of my stuff. Lucy is a very sweet gal yet she'd been passed over constantly while she was at SPAN (http://www.spanonline.org ?? need to double check with Mom in the morning cause this doesn't look like the right group). Why? Because Lucy only has 3 feet. She's missing part of her back foot and thus prospective adopters passed her over presumably because they didn't want a dog with special needs. Special needs my butt, Lucy's never needed any help except perhaps a hand getting in and out of the car. Makes me angry to hear people talk sometimes because some of what they say is so superficial.

Anyways, there's nothing wrong with Oatmeal that I can see except that he's not as "pretty" as the other dogs. Personally I think he's beautiful and I just want to cuddle him everytime I lay eyes on him. I'm not sure if it's just tear stains or natural coloring that he has such deep black marks under his eyes. It makes him look like he's wearing eyeliner which I find cute and amusing. I do know that his original name was "Chico" (ick... I'm sick of people naming their chihuahuas Chico... very unoriginal) but I'd seen somewhere that someone once dubbed him Oatmeal and I thought it was highly suitable because he does have the color of oatmeal. It's not the prettiest name but it's a name I can love. I suppose if it were up to me to give him a name, I'd call him "Sparrow" after Captain Jack Sparrow, Johnny Depp's character in Pirates of the Carribean. After all, Depp sported the same heavy eyeliner which gave him such a distinctive look.

Interesting enough, I'm not sure that anyone really calls him Oatmeal since Kimi later referred to him as Chico which is how/when I found out his original name. He comes when I call him but I think it doesn't matter what I call him, he knows when I'm calling him regardless.

That wasn't all tonight. I'd looked for another favorite, Jolie, when I walked in. However, she wasn't in the pen that she'd been in before. She's a high strung girl, definitely the type that gave chihuahuas & pomeranians (she's a mix of both) a bad name but in her case, her state today is a miracle compared to what I hear she was like when she was saved from the needle at a shelter in orange county. She'd been a vicious biter and highly traumatized from abuse. Now she's friendly and eager to love but just high strung. She was getting bullied by the other dogs to the point where she wasn't taking care of herself so we put her in a pen (a section of the playground) so that she could be free from hassle.

On the way out tonight, I finally spotted her, she was moved to a different pen and no question she remembered me. She kept sticking her snout through the chain link as far as it could go as if she could push her way through to me. It was late enough already so all I could do was crouch down and kiss her through the fence and say hello. We were good friends before I left for PA and I'm glad to see that we still are in her mind because I still very much want to adopt her (and Noz & Oatmeal). That's another story though and I'm working on it.

I'm going back Friday because this weekend, Chihuahua Rescue's going to be two days at the Best Friends Adoption Festival at the La Brea Tar Pits in LA. I'm staying the night so that I'll be there bright and early to help with getting ready and transporting. I stay there cause A) I like to... there's a porch swing that folds down and I love sleeping on it because despite the support bar down the center.... I can swing myself in it and B) I get to sleep with a bunch of dogs. But this time particularly C) I'm already there and able to start helping as soon as I wake up.

I'm going to ask if I can bring Noz, Oatmeal and Jolie over to the daycare so that they can sleep with me. Not sure if that'll happen cause things are different there now but if it doesn't work out then at least I'll have Wela.

It's funny... I know that people often say that they don't want to get involved with dog rescue because they'd want to take them all home. For me, it wasn't a problem because I knew that it wasn't a possibility just then and having grown up with dogs and become a dog person through and through (I do like cats but I'll take a dog anytime) I knew that I would want to adopt dogs of my own one day.

Til this year I hadn't given it serious thought cause I was always living somewhere where pets weren't allowed and I always thought "some day". But the beginning of this year was a world shaking time for me as my whole world did completely change. I got involved with Chihuahua Rescue so that I'd have something meaningful to do with my days as I tried to heal from shock of everything that had happened. I'm sure I'm repeating myself now but the love of those dogs who would dance in excitement when I came around was like healing on steroids.

Pets are soothing and healing for the soul and while I don't regret the past 10 years being companionless, I don't think I'm gonna go without again. Life is too short and I have much love to give to them as well.

But back to the point at hand... which is my sprawling response to why other people don't get involved in rescue... it's worth it. The ones that touch you, if you don't take them home yourself, you fight harder to find them a home and are elated when you do (though it can be bittersweet). You find that you can work with them and not always have to take them home.

I wanted dogs anyways and I didn't want to have just one or two. I find myself mostly getting attached to the ones who've been damaged somehow but are eager to be loved again and are just afraid. For example, the person who adopts Jolie will have to sign a waiver that they acknowledge that they've been told that Jolie was/is a biter and that they still want to adopt her.

I would/will have no problem signing it because A) I don't much care if she does because B) she's not bitten me once yet and C) she gives plenty of notice when she's upset. My brother, who hadn't really grown up with dogs, was really afraid when he started volunteering. He was constantly afraid of being bitten. He's not afraid of Jolie at all because she's not bitten him and he's gotten more comfortable with dogs in general.

Now what she does do... is she grabs my hand like she's going to bite but she never actually bites. This is her way of telling me that she's upset and to please help her. So far this has been when I'm handling her sometimes and I guess I catch her in a sensitive spot (she's very tense at first). Or when I'm sitting where the other dogs can jump up and try to horn in on the attention she's getting from me... she growl-whines at them and bites in their direction and if they don't stop sometimes she'll turn back and grab-bite at my hand to try and get me to chase them away. It's usually easy to reassure her and usually she calms down.

I *have* seen her berserk before. Early on, she was so good with me that I didn't twice about bringing her out to meet 2 women one day. I didn't know that she was very afraid of cages. I brought her out into the adoption area and started to hand her over to them when she freaked out. She was full panic mode and was flailing and trying to bite her way out to freedom. I grabbed her back and she actually was in mid bite of my hand (or arm, don't remember) when she realized that she was in my arms again and safe and she caught herself and stopped.

I wouldn't have blamed her even if she had bitten me because I should have been more aware. Thinking back I realized that when I'd walked back to get her, she'd looked a little odd. Took me a few more minutes to realize that the difference was her tail. Normally she carries it up and curved over her back because she really is a happy little girl most of the time when I see her. But her tail had been down and she had looked sad. I found out later that she'd been bullied particularly hard the day or two before and it was around this time that she was given her pen. Poor girl... no wonder she freaked out.

Bottom line, I don't have a problem with the waiver because I know she may bite me someday. I also know that I understand her better than most people ever will and that she trusts me enough to respond to me even in a freak out so I'm sure I'll be able to handle whatever happens. Ideally I like to take my dogs with me everywhere I go but she would stay home because she'd be less stressed there. Some day when she's adjusted and is more secure and stable, I might explore whether or not she's interested in going out more but I wouldn't push her.

Yep... she hates me... *wink*

Boy I've rambled all over the place... that's what happens when you're writing in the wee hours of the night!

Dear God - When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it going to be the same old story?

Dear God - Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?

Dear God - If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God - We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God - More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?

Dear God - Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God - When I get to Heaven, may I have my testicles back?

I find these very funny though I don't like the last one because it's born out of human male's obsession with their balls and not one that male dogs share.

He arrived 3 years ago having been dumped because he was "too old" at 17 and I think cause he was starting to rack up the vet bills. I met him several months ago when the hospital ward was set up next door and he was moved in because he was no longer able to walk well. I spent a lot of time after that holding him and petting him and helping to administer painkillers so that he was comfortable.

Farewell Igor, you lived a long life (20 years!!) and I hope that it was a good one!

By the time he got to us, he was in a bit better off shape but it's only thanks to his owner's sister in law that he made it this far because the owner didn't want to pay the vet bills to save him. Apparently the owner wasn't really much of an owner to Jethro and treated him like a posession to have on display but not use/interact with. Anyways, our good Samaritan stepped in and contacted us and took care of everything on the AK end including getting him on the plane.

I went and picked him up from LAX and the poor guy was just terrified. He submitted to petting and my nearness but once he got to the kennel and was given his own space, he avoided human contact like crazy. We were started to think that he'd suffered brain damage due to oxygen deprivation issues when he had the hole in his chest.

However, Kimi pulled off another miracle and found someone willing to take him.

What's so great about this is that I'd realized that while Jethro wanted nothing to do with us two footers, he always became very interested when other dogs came near his pen. Kimi wasn't sure but didn't say no so I tested my theory by putting first Captain and then Nora (not at the same time) in with Jethro.

In each case, he got really excited and was eager to meet them but sadly neither of them really cared about him after the initial sniff. I knew Captain would be that way because he doesn't care about ANY other dog (except Tex, for some very odd reason he just had to show Tex who was boss). Nora, I didn't know as well but I was hoping she'd be a little more friendly than Captain was.

Anyways, so basically I was sure of the fact that Jethro was destined to only really enjoy doggie company for at least a good long while since he never warmed up to anyone despite all our attempts. And his new home? It features a number of fellow ex Chihuahua Rescue residents and apparently he's already through the roof in happiness.

Here's a quote from his new human guardian:

"So far all the guys are getting along. He had a good dinner and a good nights sleep in my bed with buddy, dennis, yardley, brandy, and tiffany. He has taken to emily and slept the morning with her when ashley and i went to church. He is now in her arms being loved. He even likes the cats. So far he has been a love."

Turns out I guess I was wrong about the human aspect. He's already opened up to their love!

Jethro's just another in a long string of amazing miracle stories all architected by Kimi! She takes the broken ones that everyone else wants to put down and heals them and finds them new homes where they'll be loved and cared for and most importantly, understood and helped with their scars physical or pyschological.

This is what makes me so devoted to Chihuahua Rescue and Kimi and I'm proud to be a part of it and it's definitely one of the most meaningful things I've done in my life.

Had it on tonight in the background while I was working on a project for Chihuahua Rescue. Fortunately despite my extreme distance from Chihuahua Rescue right now (I'm in Pennsylvania), I can still help with a recent major change there. They are switching from open adoption periods on Saturday to only adoption by appointment where everyone is prescreened first. Obviously, the best way to get the applications is by having them fill it out online rather than snail mail or fax. So that's what I'm working on....

Back to the game show... turns out that tonight's episode on Game Show Network features Olympians and apparently was filmed in 2002 because it specifically features winter olympians and based on year references... it's '02.

Anyways they're playing for charities and Tristan picked Best Friends Animal Sanctuary and somehow managed to survive to the final round which I'm watching right now. Right now it's 0:2 after 3 questions.

Final question... it's close... 1:2.

and she lost. Oh well.

I certainly highly approve of her charity choice though if I'm given a chance to win beaucoup bucks for a charity, I'd go with Chihuahua Rescue. or perhaps a rottie one?. Eh I'd personally prefer to use the money to get a place of my own to adopt the a bunch of the not so adoptables from her.

About a week or two ago, we get a new arrival. He's an owner turn-in and K is talking to the owner.

K = Chihuahua Rescue's President & Founder & Hero, Kimi Peck
O = Owner turning in his dog
The following is paraphrased as it was heard 2nd hand.

K: Well we'll find him a good home.
O: Oh I KNOW you will!
K: Oh?
O: You turned me down last year when I came to adopt.

ARRRGHHH!! Turns out that K actually was able to remember him and that she turned him down because of a bad feeling. Talk about good instincts... she turned him down and he obviously went out and found someone willing to adopt a dog out to him and now here he is turning the dog in because he doesn't have time for the dog anymore. Fucking bastard!!!

Now I'm sure that we turn away some people who would be good homes but what most people fail to understand or get even after we painstakingly try to explain it to them is this:

THE DOGS COME FIRST!!! THEIR SAFETY AND WELLBEING ARE OUR PRIORITY!!

We're not interested in how fast we can turn over the dogs and get those adoption fees. Some rescuers are and while I think that's unfortunate, I just hope for the best for those dogs.

What we ARE interested in is finding the best *safe* and *loving* homes for our dogs so that they never have to go through the trauma of losing their homes again.

The people that I dislike are the ones who don't think of adoption as making the same kind of commitment as adopting a child. Granted you don't have to do AS much as with a child but a pet is not a disposable commodity.

Anyways I could go on ranting but mainly I just wanted to tell the story about this owner who is just the perfect example of why we ARE so strict. Oh and btw... the dog in question doesn't seem to be too perturbed at his new surroundings... goes to show just how attached he'd become in a year's time. I've had dogs become attached to me within days!

First, I was devastated to learn just now that a dog I'd come to know via an LiveJournal community passed away. He was not even 3 years old and had been a rescue who got very lucky. My heart goes out to his human friend because I couldn't imagine losing Captain so soon. I know he'll go one day but I've been heartened by the fact that he's hardy and has no apparent health issues.

In the meantime, please go visit Rocco the Snaggletooth and learn how wonderful he was.

Sunday, I finally woke up from my Sleeping Beauty like slumber (slept just about all weekend) to learn that a dog I knew and had assisted with in rescue had been killed that morning by another dog. I was devastated to learn that especially given the history of the dog. The people were kind enough to ask if I wanted the collar to remember her by and I was grateful for that. I shall put it in Frankenbaby's new box when I get it.

I've also been dealing with deaths of several sick dogs who I've helped try to fight to live but one by one they passed. Yesterday, another did and I just became sick.

It's so hard. Death is natural and comes to all of us but it's still really hard sometimes especially when you get attached. Again I'm grateful to volunteer with an organization like Chihuahua Rescue who is *no kill*. Many rescues think of themselves as "no kill" but won't take anything that isn't immediately adoptable. How "no-kill" is that? I understand that most rescues operate out of their own homes and don't have space to give to dogs that need sanctuary but when these people criticize Chihuahua Rescue for being one of the few rescues who says OK to all the ones who aren't adoptable, it gets me boiling mad. Their logic is that she's causing other adoptable chihuahuas to get killed because she fills up her kennel with unadoptables.

Bottomline, the rescue community is a bunch of catfights sometimes or like a community of shrews. Kimi's able to do something for the less adoptable and so she does and I commend her for it. I just wish these other rescuers would stop spending their time backbiting Kimi and focus on their own dogs.

But back to the subject at hand... I was inspired by a comment on Rocco's LJ memorial to start lighting virtual candles on Riding In Cars With Dogs for the dogs who cross the bridge. Sadly, I lit 5 tonight. The candles only appear on the homepage of my website so be sure to visit it if you haven't already seen it. Also, I think I will expand the site to include a memorial section with eulogies where appropriate.

Update: I went ahead and built it. Check out the Rainbow Bridge.